Itty Bitty Titty Committee

-To start off this blog post I want to say that whatever you want to do with your body is your own personal choice; I am not writing this to influence you in any way, shape or form. If you’re currently considering getting implants, I am not here to sway you in any direction. I am simply writing my story, my own personal experience,                        because I believe it’s important for women to share their truths. I think women are beautiful in every way, and in our society there’s already enough pressure to look a certain way; the less opinion’s we all have about what others should do with their bodies, the better.-

Now, here’s my story. 

In July of 2014 I got breast implants. New boobz. I was never insecure about what God had given me naturally, but for some reason at the time I felt that having bigger, rounder breasts would somehow make me feel like more of a woman. The irony is that my entire life I was extremely against getting implants. When I first started modeling, I had photographers ask me if I was ever going to get them, and I said hell no, never.  [To all the men reading this, if you have the audacity to try to influence a woman to enhance/change her body to appease you, you should 1. Be open to getting a dick enhancement and 2. I reiterate my last statement.]

Ok fast forward to 2014. One of my girlfriends had gotten implants and I had absolutely no idea that hers weren’t natural, they looked amazing. She told me who her doctor was and I ended up making a consultation out of curiosity. I had worked so long as a model au natural, and I thought that getting new boobs would just push me further considering working with me post boob job would be like shooting an all new model. I also had Playmate dreams, at the time, and people I worked with that I really trusted told me it basically couldn’t happen without getting my boobs done. After I went to my consultation I decided right away I wanted them, I couldn’t wait. Coming from a girl that was pretty much against it her entire life, if I was going to do it I was going to go to the best doctor possible, and make sure I absolutely loved the outcome. And I did.

But my doctor never warned me about the possibility of any negative side affects. Over the past couple years I started seeing a lot of women talking about Breast Implant Illness, and how they believed that their implants were making them sick (in some way, shape or form.) Crystal Hefner had gotten hers removed because she believed they caused her Lyme disease. Karen Mcdougal (the Playmate linked to our current prez) had hers taken out because she was in critical pain for a decade, going to doctor after doctor with no results.

About two years ago I started missing my old body. I’ve always had a slender build, and having implants slowly just started getting more and more uncomfortable. I actually missed being able to wear a sports bra at the gym and not have cleavage showing. I missed being my natural self. I think a lot of this comes with the power of self love; years ago I felt like getting implants would make me feel like more of a woman, but it took me getting them to realize that nothing I add to my body could make me more of a woman then I already am; the size of your chest has nothing to do with the person you are inside.

Aesthetics aside, I started getting random severe pain in my left breast, sometimes to the point where I felt like something had erupted. They looked perfect on the outside, but internally I just wanted to rip them out. I’ve also struggled with severe migraines and fatigue, and I kept coming across articles and interviews showing people that were struggling with the same things as I was, and their implants were causing inflammation in their bodies. (If you ask any doctor, they will tell you that Breast Implant Illness is not a thing, and it’s not documented. But the breast implant industry alone, in 2016, was recorded at a market value of 1 billion dollars. So why would any doctors acknowledge the possible negatives when they’re pocketing so much money off of this ever growing industry?)

I started looking at old pictures of myself and I just knew in my heart that I wanted to go back to the old me, the way God had made me. I’ve never been the type of person that waits for others’ opinion’s before making a decision for myself; my decisions are solely based on my gut. My gut was telling me that getting them removed was the right thing to do. I started researching Explant Removal Specialist, and I came up with a list of doctors to call and set up consultations with. I found specialists in Newport, Denver, Las Vegas, Minnesota, and Scottsdale. I immediately called everyone on my list, asking a multitude of questions, getting a feel for which doctors I felt were the most knowledgeable, and that I felt comfortable with. The first surgeon I met with was Doctor Debra Bash, in Scottsdale. Immediately I knew that I wanted her to perform my surgery. Not only was it extremely empowering to see an office full of women that had such amazing job titles, but she didn’t try to sway me into actually getting the surgery. She asked me when I wanted to have it done, and I told her ASAP. I didn’t need any time to think about it, I knew that it was what I wanted to do.

I had my surgery on the 17th of April. I flew my sister in from Minnesota the day before, and she told me right before I was about to go under how strong I was for making the decision to take them out. In that moment I knew that there was no going back, and I told her that I couldn’t wait to look like a little boy again. LOL. Not joking; those were my exact words.

To say that getting my implants removed was empowering would be a complete understatement. I don’t regret getting them in the first place, because at the time it was what I wanted. I got to experience what it was like having them, and it took me getting a boob job to really appreciate what I was given naturally.

The human body is seriously remarkable. It took me 5 days to recover. 5 DAYS! I had implants in for 4 years, and I’m just so thankful that I look exactly how I did before my initial surgery.  Granted, I owe most of that to my amazing surgeon, but it just amazes me how quickly the human body can snap back. [I only hope my body snaps back that quickly after having a baby inside of me lol]

This post was very personal for me, considering I’m an innately private person. But a lot of my followers on social media are actually women, and I think it’s important for us to be vulnerable sometimes in order to help others be self empowered. If you want to get your boobs done, GET IT GIRL. I just feel that it’s important to always stay true to yourself, and make decisions based on your own internal assessment. You don’t need to do anything to be more of a woman, to be more beautiful, to be more attractive. Whatever it is that makes you happy, do that. I couldn’t be more happier with the decision I made, I don’t have any negatives to speak on. The only downside of getting my implants taken out is I can’t tell myself I can’t run or do certain workouts on account of my boobs bouncing up and down; I’m going to have to come up with other excuses.